I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
