Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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