She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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