I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
