Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
