what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
