Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
