oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
