kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
