The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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