Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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