He kissed a someone with a penis
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
