i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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