it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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