I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
