Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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