I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
