I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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