Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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