she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Alive.
So much puke
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
