Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
