turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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