Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
