whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This is my gift to your gina
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
