Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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