He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
