"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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