why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
