i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
