Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
