I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
