I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
