just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
