Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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