I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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