Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
