Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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