that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
