i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
