; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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