So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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