I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
