Quick, to the slutcave!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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