Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
