Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Randomize
