She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
