I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
