She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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