Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
