I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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