you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
