Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
